The Josie Pages

Field Notes In/On Transition Long Time No Blog I’ve been trying to get together my thoughts to write an update for at least a month now. The holiday season for me is like for many, usually kind of a low ebb season. But this year I made a point everyday to try and find some people to spend time with, to do things ( a lot of it was eating and drinking) with people and actually going out to events invited to, instead of staying home thinking and fretting about things, wishing that I was strong enough to participate. It really made my holiday season great, having that mindset every day. The key was that every day I chose to go see some people, or follow up on open invites. A few days I stayed home and left off the makeup, and had some nice low stress solo time, listening to music (mostly for choir practice) binging some TV (Broad City), and playing some video games (Fallout New Vegas). I managed to get just the right staggering of socializing, and non-socializing that I s...

Field Notes In/On Transition Loneliness and Community Been trying to figure out what and how to get myself blogging my transition more often than my current once a month. Maybe if I sat down and wrote more blogs? Seems likely the answer is self evident. Maybe so, maybe. Anyhoo, if you have been following along, you will know that most of my time has been spent recently fretting and fussing as I sort of blindly applied for jobs that I may or may not have been good for. It is like fishing, sometimes you hit a good spot, but mostly not. Well, that’s how I remember fishing, from when I was a kid and last fished. I really have no doubt that most of my difficulties are of my own devising. That's the depressing part. I am not much of a planner. Pretty much everything I do I do because it is time to do it. I always did my schoolwork (if I did it) at the last minute. I got decent grades, but never great grades. This never bothered me much except when I failed, which thankful...

Field Notes In/On Transition Curbs For Your Enthusiasm So, if you are on my FB feed, you likely know I have been suffering a bit of Depression, partially I think seasonal (though we have been lucky yo have a nice smattering of sunny days in Vancouver this fall) affected disorder, as well as the frustration of applying for so many cool jobs, and feeling like you might as well not bother. It’s depressing and discouraging not to even get an interview for something you feel qualified for. The thing to try and hold in mind (and I’m trying I am, but I slip a lot) is that the reason, likely you aren’t getting that interview is that lots of people these days are looking, and are just as qualified. There's rarely just a few resumes to go through for many employers. Also a lot of postings don’t matter due to the hiring through networking that goes on really far more than jobs won through application only. All the good jobs I have had, I got by ‘knowing someone,’ as they say. Th...

Field Notes In/On Transition Thinking out loud on paper about writing, creating the projects I want to create. My brain is bubbling over with creative ideas: the Strawgirl Chronicles (format(s) TBA), finishing any number of half finished novels , but especially the one that i did last fall, That Super hero web/TV series , that might really be a trilogy of Comi-tragic Super hero novels, writing some wholly new things, like actual short stories. I can write novel length, but a short story? Yikes. a Hill to Climb. A friend on facebook mentioned doing animation maybe, and that has me really thinking differently about my painting. Maybe learn some animation apps, is something to work on.  I know I have some graphic novels lurking around in my fever-y brain, as well as my half written book of Arthurian stories and poems ( a few of the poems are scattered in my already published poetry books ) from the perspective of a much misunderstood Guinevere. This book I think also sho...

Field Notes In/On Transition Maybe these posts are getting repetitive? The rains of October are upon us in late September. After a pretty awesome summer weather wise in Vancouver; I am nervously gearing up to do some Box Office work, for the Vancouver International Film Festival, or VIFF. It’s 14 days of I have no idea how long the shifts are, as the schedule only has your start time. But basically every afternoon except two, from the 25th of September, to October 10th. I am pretty certain that it will screw up my ei, having them dock me before I get paid from the fest. No matter how hard you try, someone always has their foot on your neck. But I am doing it anyway, I need to network. Back in the fire of customer service kind of hard core, but at least it’s only a couple of weeks, and like the video store: in my knowledge wheelhouse. I had a day of Training early last week on the software, used to sell tickets. I think a lot of folks will already have tickets though as most folk...

Field Notes In/On  Transition Autumn Is A Time Of Renewal, I Hope You know, my best posts on this blog I think are the ones where I detail the events of my days, good or bad in terms of how events affect, or don’t affect my transition. My post about my trip to Victoria, last spring I think is a good example of my better work. As well as a lot of my early posts about weird encounters, or small triumphs in getting correctly gendered. This isn’t really one of those posts. These days I have less weird encounters, though, I still get a lot of micro-aggression here and there, mostly consisting of ‘dirty looks,’ or like the guy the other day; while crossing Grandview Highway, says to his buddy, nudging him my direction: “Is that for real?” Meaning, of course, me. Thanks dude. Made my day. Not. These little things usually happen in my case exactly when I am feeling pretty good about my presentation, and ability to “pass” though I hate that term and the duplicitous nature of i...