Posts

Showing posts from October, 2012

The Slow Season

Field Notes In/On Transition
The Slow Season
The further I get into comfort with my transition, the less I feel compelled to write my blog about Transition. It’s true, the last few entries have been less often, and a bit more of a struggle to write. It’s not like I have nothing to talk about, less fears, doubts, joys, accomplishments, or anything.
I have some recent “firsts” even. The other night I had dinner and drinks (too many drinks, Oy!) with an acquaintance from “the community”. It’s very cool to find so much commonality with a Trans Man, someone going the opposite direction from me. 
The “First” though, was using the Ladies room in the restaurant we were in. Which I did kind of unconsciously, as I wandered out of the Ladies, I realized I had been in the Ladies. I’ve consciously avoided restroom confusion when out in public places as I am wary of any kind of confrontation. But there wasn’t any, and in fact I’m sure that in that particular restaurant, no one gives a fig which id…

Thinking/Dreaming/Living

Image
Field Notes In/On Transition
Thinking/Dreaming/Living
Talking with Mom... outward early signs that I wanted to be a girl? Not so much... 
In truth, I only recall (clearly at least) moments of my childhood, here and there. It’s all a blur, really unless someone sits down with me, and actively jogs my memory with their better recall. I’m pretty sure I was never ever one of those kids who seemed like they were gender confused. For me, living in my imagination, though was just as real as daily life. Until I was in my late teens I maintained the fantasy, that one day I’d just “wake up a girl.” Magically whisked to some parallel Earth where I had always been a girl, or some variation of that dream. I did read a lot of comic books, and SF/Fantasy growing up, so it never seemed impossible to my very naive mind.
But, when I was much younger, I’m not even sure I could articulate what it was I wanted or how I defined my gender dysphoria when I was pre-pubescent... “it” (the teenager name for “gen…

Date Night

Image
Field Notes In/On Transition
Date Night 
So, the other day, I was feeling particularly pretty, as I am starting to feel a bit more comfortable with doing my makeup. I have got some tips from lady friends, and watched a bunch of videos, as I mentioned in my last post. But there is no teacher like experience... doing the makeup and watching a video are very different. 

On Tuesday, I did myself up I think very nicely, subtle, natural looking, and felt really sexy in my skirt and striped hose. I’ve also found some low heels that are comfortable and cute enough to wear all day at work. Late in my shift an older gentleman (around retirement age, I’m guessing) who I hadn’t seen since well before I started my transition. He was looking at some movies in our staff picks, then came up and rented a documentary on The Beats, and complimented me on my new look, asked me if I would like to go out for dinner, then if I was single, I said yes, to both, without really much thought. 
Getting a compliment…