Showing posts from October, 2015

I don't know...

Field Notes In/On Transition
I Don’t Know
So I can almost see the finish line, at least for the 1st ‘readable’ draft of my memoir. I feel mostly good about it so far. But I also know that in certain areas of my life I have had a hard time going deep enough into things that have caused me grief, pain, even some of the more joyful things, I have a hard time accessing and putting them into cogent prose.
My room mate said something to me a few weeks ago, meant with good intent, I think, but sometimes, ruminating on it, I have a hard time not agreeing on a darker meaning. She said, “You know you are both brave and stupid to be writing this memoir all by yourself, with no therapy, or mental health back up.” I am paraphrasing as this was a conversation, not one sentence. But that negative gist of it is true. It may be ‘brave,’ but I really am operating without a net, so to speak. I am dealing with some issues that I haven’t really dealt with, and doing so all by myself.
I don’t have any profe…

Broke But Hopeful

Field Notes In/On Transition
A time of renewal and continued poverty
So, I have been working hard at getting the memoir going, living off of the money I was able to raise from my Indiegogo campaign. I had another day and a half doing some Background or extra work on a TV show. I really am not getting much work from that well, but I also black out a lot of days on my calendar for the other things going on in my life, like finishing this memoir, or at least finishing a draft that needs a real editor’s eyes, maybe. I can’t really afford that, as I didn’t raise enough money in my campaign. I am extremely grateful that people gave like they did, but I was only able to reach one or two people who don’t already know me. The internet is so vast. I raised $2100 CAD, and had to pay fees that lopped off $300 or so, so $1800 net out of the Ten thousand I hope to earn. In hindsight, that really was a case of dreaming big. Without some money in your pocket to start a campaign, it’s hard to afford to…