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Showing posts from May, 2012

Dreams Vs Ambitions

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Field Notes In/On Transition
Prologue: I realize that my interpretation of “Field Notes” is not terribly Canon. Most field notes focus on the concrete describable things around you. I tend to ramble off and on to the bits of physical experiences I’m having; and the field note part is more the rambling and theorizing, as that’s how my own personal mimesis works, how I learn. Stuff happens, I think about it, have self-conversations, trying to figure it out, usually I write and write, sometimes a poem or story is woven out, sometimes it’s a whiny/angry/self absorbed/hopeful diatribe of some sort. They are all part of the process for me.
This is most important, readers, please be aware that I’m not overwrought about any of these issues I write of apparently, more endlessly, every entry. The simple fact of putting these words out there helps me “deal” in a tremendously positive way.
I’m trying to, in this blog: refine the process a bit. 
It does have me writing much more regularly. 
I’ve …

worth a thousand words?

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a more pictorial than lately,  Field Note In/On Transition follows:

 Scary, right? yeah, no makeup to be found. I love this shirt/dress abstract thingy, have a feeling it can be worn with many other things.
 This is kind of my ideal fashion wise.
 Needs Doc Martens
 Will be wearing similar to work tomorrow. Hard to see but the jeans have gold sparkles!
 speaks for itself this look. Thank you Wonderbra.
 Trying out the abstractions
Good houseparty wear.

These "notes" are getting longer all the time….

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Field Notes In/On Transition
These notes are getting longer all the time…. 
Sometimes, I feel that my “soft move” of wearing ladies jeans, androgynous shirts, earrings, and nail polish for awhile, before I start braving things like short shorts or skirts, dresses, pantyhose. and makeup; all that stuff that not all women bother with very much these days anyway, is stifling the gal inside, rather than freeing her.
I just might be a jeans and a tee-shirt kind of girl. I really don’t know yet. But eventually I will have to give the girlier stuff a whirl in public. From my perspective, a person’s sense of fashion should keep up with their age, though not in a cliched kind of way. 
The only men’s clothing I’ve worn in two months are the odd tee-shirt, pair of socks, or jacket. Yet, one wouldn’t really say that other than on Facebook perhaps, that, I’m living my life as a woman. I’m not “doing a voice” yet, as I’ve mentioned, (I sure do think about that a lot, though.) nor am I seemingly ev…

Stage Fright

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Field Notes In/On transition
Stage Fright I’ve been thinking about “voice” a lot recently. 
Not just my speaking voice, which still is mannish as ever most of the time. I’m more frightened of sounding like an idiot or a stereotype than I am about “looking the part”. Also, I’m aware that my writerly voice needs to change. 
If you’ve heard/seen me read you know that I’m pretty comfortable with my “voice” which to put into hackneyed lit terms is “not a Slam Voice” but rather a merging of “Beat” line readings and “Prairie line breaks”.  If I change my speaking voice, which I will have to do, at least somewhat for my own comfort as well as to help those around me see me as I want to be seen. This of course is hard work, which is kind of anathematic (apparently to coin a phrase) to how I lazily go about my life.
Me reading:

Yet last night I turned down a reading opportunity. A gaming friend who is also a poet is organizing a haiku/local poet night at the end of May. 
When he first approach…

Not so much a field note as a rant-y diary entry for all to see, (aka a blog entry)

Field Notes In/On Transition 
Not so much a field note as a rant-y diary entry for all to see, (aka a blog entry)
(Warning, this is quite a long entry)
Sometimes I feel like Rob Breszny is stalking me:
"We all need a little more courage now and then," said poet Marvin Bell. "That's what I need. If you have some to share, I want to know you." I advise you to adopt his approach in the coming days, Virgo. Proceed on the assumption that what you need most right now is to be braver and bolder. And consider the possibility that a good way to accomplish this goal is by hanging around people who are so intrepid and adventurous that their spirit will rub off on you.
http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/virgo.html (if you read this entry after this week, the link will have a new horoscope, but the quote above is from the week of May 10th.)
I know many people feel astrology is silly, and it can be, which to my mind is part of what makes it interesting. 
This partic…

A Life, In The Day Time…

Field notes In/On Transition
A Life, In The Day Time…
I was on edge, it seemed for days in regards to the “big wax” which happened yesterday, and yes was likely as painful as you imagined. Ow. I’m a bit red today, but baby soft and oh so flabby. hair hides much. even flabbier than I had thought. Whatever. it was worth it. 
I self medicated for the pain before heading over to the salon above my store, for my appointment. (Getting the Wed, Special rate on Saturday!) It was very welcoming and calming in the lobby. Form signing was a bit odd, but I guess in this day and age, everyone has to cover their asses. 
The gal who did the deed worked hard to put me at ease, and she really did, the salty thirty something blonde covered in wicked Tats. 
I told her “why” I was re-enacting that scene from the 40 year old virgin. (Not as naturally hairy as Carrell in that movie, thankfully though) and she gave me a lot of positive feedback. She also shared with me a few of her own salty anecdotes. 
It…