Field notes In/On Transition
A Life, In The Day Time…
I was on edge, it seemed for days in regards to the “big wax” which happened yesterday, and yes was likely as painful as you imagined. Ow. I’m a bit red today, but baby soft and oh so flabby. hair hides much. even flabbier than I had thought. Whatever. it was worth it.
I self medicated for the pain before heading over to the salon above my store, for my appointment. (Getting the Wed, Special rate on Saturday!) It was very welcoming and calming in the lobby. Form signing was a bit odd, but I guess in this day and age, everyone has to cover their asses.
The gal who did the deed worked hard to put me at ease, and she really did, the salty thirty something blonde covered in wicked Tats.
I told her “why” I was re-enacting that scene from the 40 year old virgin. (Not as naturally hairy as Carrell in that movie, thankfully though) and she gave me a lot of positive feedback. She also shared with me a few of her own salty anecdotes.
It was as pleasant as could be given that someone was ripping the hair out of my 2 months into my low testosetrone’d and oh, so much softer more sensitive, skin.
Not to dwell, but I almost fell off the table when I was standing and seeing myself a lot closer to being the real me, than ever before, there in the mirror, smiling for some reason.
I gave a very reasonable tip, and felt I got my money’s worth. Yet another life changing experience, that only hurt for a little while.
To celebrate, I wandered down the drive in my funky Italian Movie Diva Sunglasses, “Jean Jacket I bought last summer, that only fits now, this summer” (Squeee!), and my signature Leopard Pillbox Fez, and headed to the old Value Village for a bit of a Lady- Shop.
I started timidly as I often doing, first scouring the dvds by the till, then hitting the Sci Fi cheapie books, with the usual once over of the spots the graphic novels get hidden, in that Value Village. nada, but one old John Brunner novel, recently recommended to me, “Shockwave Rider”… Some kind of parallel Universe thing, it seems. great cheesy 70’s cover art.
I eventually circled my way into the solar system known as Ladies’ Wear. I wove around hoping that if I only got one thing it would be a decent fitting pair of jeans.
I recognized a few people as customers from my store as I browsed, got very neutral looks, except from one older wealthy dressing Chinese canadian Lady who gave me a few grim faces as we browsed near each other.
Thumbed through some Jeans suspects, but took none, until checking the 10-10.5 shoe wall… nothing comfortable, everyday at work shoes, (which is my current “shoe mission”, decent runners, and decent work shoes, but for once in my life, have those two not be the same shoes.)
I also found a scarf, a bag, two long sweaters, a cheetah print turtleneck, a cute cloth belt, and yes, a pair of jeans: in Olive green, with big sparkly gold thread sewn in. They may be a bit short, but they fit, and I love them.
As I stood in line (for the Trans clerk that works at “my Value Village”), with my goods piling up on the desk, the older Chinese Lady from earlier is tugging at my shoulder, offering me her points card, which is full, meaning 30% off.
“You take this, I won’t be back here before the card expires, you have a lot of items!”
she exclaimed for all to hear, patted me on the hand, pressed the card there, and blowing kisses to the clerk as she scooted out the door being held open for her.
Out of a movie, the whole scene.
So I got 30% off my loot, and some pleasant chat with the Clerk, The customer behind me, who was a man who grasped the importance in the many, many different textures I was stuffing into my bag. I walked home, again, smiling, for some reason.
Another weekend, another couple of nice experiences that are making my own self doubts and fears seem less and less insurmountable. Again, I’m moving too fast, and not fast enough at the same time. leaving me a nice bubble of animal print and pastels to wander through on my way to wherever the heck it is that I’m going.
So far this rabbit hole has been a pleasant place in which to free fall. I hope the landing is on some relatively soft thorns.