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Showing posts from May, 2014

Another depressing blog post.

Field Notes In/On Transition
Change is the only Constant
If you have been reading my blog, or know me in the real world, you know that I have lately really been struggling with depression. Not that I wasn’t depressed before, but I had crutches back then in the Joe Daze (sic), booze, drugs, food. The only one of those that still soothes me is food. I still have a few drinks, etc, here and there, but have turned into a lightweight, and my heart (nor my head) is not into getting wasted anymore. It’s probably horrible to say, but I miss being able to get really drunk, really wasted. These days after a few drinks, I don’t want it anymore. I wish I could say that about food.
But as far as being a worker, or an artist, I feel like a loser, I don’t feel respected, or treated like the middle aged person with 30 years of work experience under their belt, that I really am. Also, I’m aware this is likely my own fault for constantly doing what others think I should do, and being to chickenshit to…

Everything Old Is New Again

Field Notes In/On Transition
Everything Old Is New Again
The classic show tune “Everything Old Is New Again,” written by Peter Allen, has been running through my head as I have been cogitating what to post next here on my transition blog. I am making what I feel is a very sincere effort not to dwell too long in the dark places my hormone levels, and real, so very real moments of depression take me. I have been trying hard to only post positive and or funny, clever things on my facebook page, to not get too outraged at our ever more frightening world.

 Mostly it is working, and I have been finding creative outlets that I thought I had closed off long ago. Like I have been saying here on my blog, I really believe that is my writing that will eventually be the thing I do to generate some income to live on. But I do have a long ways to go still to get to that place.

My editing of my sci-fi novel has dropped to minimal levels, and I am doing less review writing than I had been the last few…