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Showing posts from 2014

Loneliness & Community

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Field Notes In/On Transition
Loneliness and Community

Been trying to figure out what and how to get myself blogging my transition more often than my current once a month. Maybe if I sat down and wrote more blogs? Seems likely the answer is self evident. Maybe so, maybe.
Anyhoo, if you have been following along, you will know that most of my time has been spent recently fretting and fussing as I sort of blindly applied for jobs that I may or may not have been good for. It is like fishing, sometimes you hit a good spot, but mostly not. Well, that’s how I remember fishing, from when I was a kid and last fished. I really have no doubt that most of my difficulties are of my own devising. That's the depressing part. I am not much of a planner. Pretty much everything I do I do because it is time to do it. I always did my schoolwork (if I did it) at the last minute. I got decent grades, but never great grades. This never bothered me much except when I failed, which thankfully wasn’t very o…

Curbs For Your Enthusiasm

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Field Notes In/On Transition
Curbs For Your Enthusiasm
So, if you are on my FB feed, you likely know I have been suffering a bit of Depression, partially I think seasonal (though we have been lucky yo have a nice smattering of sunny days in Vancouver this fall) affected disorder, as well as the frustration of applying for so many cool jobs, and feeling like you might as well not bother. It’s depressing and discouraging not to even get an interview for something you feel qualified for. The thing to try and hold in mind (and I’m trying I am, but I slip a lot) is that the reason, likely you aren’t getting that interview is that lots of people these days are looking, and are just as qualified. There's rarely just a few resumes to go through for many employers. Also a lot of postings don’t matter due to the hiring through networking that goes on really far more than jobs won through application only. All the good jobs I have had, I got by ‘knowing someone,’ as they say.
These days, name …

Thinking out loud on paper

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Field Notes In/On Transition
Thinking out loud on paper about writing, creating the projects I want to create.

My brain is bubbling over with creative ideas: the Strawgirl Chronicles (format(s) TBA), finishing any number of half finished novels, but especially the one that i did last fall, That Super hero web/TV series, that might really be a trilogy of Comi-tragic Super hero novels, writing some wholly new things, like actual short stories. I can write novel length, but a short story? Yikes. a Hill to Climb. A friend on facebook mentioned doing animation maybe, and that has me really thinking differently about my painting. Maybe learn some animation apps, is something to work on.
 I know I have some graphic novels lurking around in my fever-y brain, as well as my half written book of Arthurian stories and poems ( a few of the poems are scattered in my already published poetry books) from the perspective of a much misunderstood Guinevere. This book I think also should be illustrated, l…

Trying can be trying

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Field Notes In/On Transition

Maybe these posts are getting repetitive?


The rains of October are upon us in late September. After a pretty awesome summer weather wise in Vancouver; I am nervously gearing up to do some Box Office work, for the Vancouver International Film Festival, or VIFF. It’s 14 days of I have no idea how long the shifts are, as the schedule only has your start time. But basically every afternoon except two, from the 25th of September, to October 10th. I am pretty certain that it will screw up my ei, having them dock me before I get paid from the fest. No matter how hard you try, someone always has their foot on your neck. But I am doing it anyway, I need to network.

Back in the fire of customer service kind of hard core, but at least it’s only a couple of weeks, and like the video store: in my knowledge wheelhouse. I had a day of Training early last week on the software, used to sell tickets. I think a lot of folks will already have tickets though as most folks these…

Crossroads again? this map is confusing!

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Field Notes In/On  Transition
Autumn Is A Time Of Renewal, I Hope
You know, my best posts on this blog I think are the ones where I detail the events of my days, good or bad in terms of how events affect, or don’t affect my transition. My post about my trip to Victoria, last spring I think is a good example of my better work. As well as a lot of my early posts about weird encounters, or small triumphs in getting correctly gendered. This isn’t really one of those posts.
These days I have less weird encounters, though, I still get a lot of micro-aggression here and there, mostly consisting of ‘dirty looks,’ or like the guy the other day; while crossing Grandview Highway, says to his buddy, nudging him my direction: “Is that for real?” Meaning, of course, me. Thanks dude. Made my day. Not. These little things usually happen in my case exactly when I am feeling pretty good about my presentation, and ability to “pass” though I hate that term and the duplicitous nature of it. I am not trying …

Moving forward, and down the street.

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Field Notes In/On Transition.
Phoenix Rising (yet again)
Obviously, I have been forging a new life for a couple of years now. And for all my hewing and crying, and real depression, real malaise, it is a better life I am making. It’s been awhile since my last post on this blog. My daily life has been so packed with things, that my creative outlets have again fallen to the wayside a bit. So now for the billionth time or so, I am reaffirming my creative outlets and trying to get my mojo back.
If you recall my posts from the spring, I was pretty depressed about my dwindling hours at the video store, and my lack of ability to find some sort of reasonable replacement gig to pay the rent while I pretended to work on my novel, but most of my creativity at that time was going into my daily ‘painting ritual’ with my Ipad. I did something like 68 days in a row of taking out anywhere from 45 minutes, to a few hours to create my primitive little ‘paintings’ I think a lot of them are really awesome.…