The Josie Pages

Field Notes In/On Transition Oracles, Myths, and Leggings  Rob Brezsny’s Freewill Astrology (last week’s and this week’s cut & pasted below), is the only Oracle I use with any regularity.  Virgo Horoscope for week of June 21, 2012 My first poetry teacher suggested that it was my job as a poet to learn the names of things in the natural world. She said I should be able to identify at least 25 species of trees, 25 flowers, 25 herbs, 25 birds, and eight clouds. I have unfortunately fallen short in living up to that very modest goal, and I've always felt guilty about it. But it's never too late to begin, right? In the coming weeks, I vow to correct for my dereliction of duty. I urge you to follow my lead, Virgo. Is there any soul work that you have been neglecting? Is there any part of your life's mission that you have skipped over? Now would be an excellent time to catch up.  As usual with the Freewill Astrology, I feel this horoscope jibes with m...

From my recent haul of clothes from various friends, Value Villages. Sorry for the fuzzy pics. I was so into playing Mrs. Dressup that I  forgot to light myself better. photoshop can only do so much. the next batch will be more carefully planned, hopefully. The poems are older pieces, that are on the Trans theme (I have a lot of Trans poems, actually.) My first book being called "Like Bukowski In Drag" (you can buy it here:  My poetry books )  I wore this to work today, though it was very mild and I was zipped up in leopard most of the afternoon. Summer, yet? please! Here's the first poem about the "gender thing" (as I've spent most of my life calling this particular issue of mine.)... First one that I ever finished anyway. written in endless little notebooks in 1991 era Main Street area cafes, greasy spoons. and endlessly edited since then. What follows, Tiresias? all feathers and smiling   i enter and i ask: "what breath of be...

Field Notes In/ON Transition The Blog of Transgender “Days”. As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, I have been working in the daily eyeliner routine (often looking as though my inspiration was Ally Sheedy look from “Breakfast Club”), On Thursday, last I decided to leave in the barrettes that I had been using to keep my unruly mass of hair out of my eyes with, when I went to work. Wearing otherwise my usual tee shirt (a fitted stripy one) under the leopard print fleece. Thus was born:  “Barrette Day” (an old pic, but the same barrettes. from the dollar store) it turned out that not one person mentioned the barrettes to me the whole day; though the fleece, as always, got compliments. My security blanket; that fleece, and a bit of a conversation starter. I may need to go a bit cuter on the hair ornaments :-p The other kind of awesome aspect to barrette day was my small epiphany, “got it” moment, and internal monologue I had after watching this young 20-some...

Field Notes In/On Transition Saucy Wench and other names of note I finally went to Army and Navy and picked up some reasonably priced underwear, and some ankle socks that are just a wee bit too small. No variety of socks at A&N in ladies, oddly a far more diverse selection of socks in men’s wear. The young clerk gal was super friendly and non weird about my purchases, which isn’t always the case at A&N. we chatted about the cuteness of the panties & socks I bought.  A bright and cheery trip, aside from the cotton leggings supposedly on sale that I really wanted were only available in size xs or extra small.  oh well, one thing I did get, was a cheapie black sports bra. This is my new “training bra”. I have definitely gained a bit more lady boob shape of late, but have always had a hard time finding a bra that fit right. Usually to get a comfortable fit around my barrel like chest I have to get a size that doesn’t come quite small cupped enoug...

Field Notes In/On Transition Sex, Drugs, &. Rock n Roll  Let’s start with a bit of Field Notes before I get all distracted by the hopes and dreams, memories, and nostalgia, again. I’ve been experimenting with my look a bit this week adding eyeliner to my daily routine. Mostly just the bottom lid, and a light bit on the top. I’m really just figuring out how to use the eyeliner. Only one or two people have mentioned anything about it at work, and those people were complimentary.  Eventually I’m adding back in the nail polish I was doing a few months ago, and maybe some mascara.  I want to maintain a relatively natural look. Once I’m comfortable there I’ll be adding in some lipstick sometimes, and not much else unless I’m gussying it up to go to a show or any opening. A cute androgynous haircut (suggestions on this front are greatly appreciated) is maybe next on the daily evolution of my presentation. To get to this point though, I think I will have to...

Field Notes IN/On Transition The Nostalgia of Terrible Body Imagery. Definitely…  working through some anger recently. Anger, that I feel to be flotsam of my male life that springs out of me still, when feeling stressed. (testosterone increases then, maybe?) This anger needs an outlet, maybe other than writing here and posting antigovernment stories on facebook.  I am really feeling like I have to figure out how to get myself to a place where I can exercise every day. It’s that gumption, ambition, determination I talked of in my last post that is so tough for me to own, that holds me back. How can you be embarrassed to exercise alone in your room? I often have to work past that just to try doing sit-ups, or whatever small amount of stretching and callisthenics that I do muster.   It seems so completely ludicrous, writing it out, but it’s a stone cold fact of my life. It’s far easier for me to go out in pubic with eyeliner, painted nails, women’s clo...